One of the questions I get asked about the most is what are we called to do when we see a brother or sister gossiping about another believer, and how do we approach them about the matter? In this devotion we are going to look at several Scriptures that address the person who spreads gossip or brings discord in the body of Christ with their tongue. As you know the tongue of such a person is destructive and brings about strife. This is one of the most common transgressions present in the body of Christ today and it does the most harm. Synonyms for the word transgression are: wrongdoing, misbehavior, disobedience, indiscretion, and offense. This person needs to be corrected in love by fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, because many times they do not understand the harm they are doing with their tongue. It takes a great act of love to address this person but unless we correct them; they will continue to divide the body of Christ and frustrate the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If we do not correct them we are walking in a transgression ourselves, which is just as damaging to the body of Christ.
In my research I have discovered common traits that exist in most people who initiate gossip and whose tongue has become a weapon that they use against fellow believers. They speak of other people when they are not present and they speak as one who knows intimate details of people’s lives. They criticize and tear others down with their words. They magnify the faults of others in order to deflect attention from their own faults. They speak with authority which puts the hearer in an awkward position, because they do not know how to counter what they are saying. They are usually masters of speech and know how to control a conversation. They either speak lies or they embellish the truth to serve their own purpose.
So how do we address this person? When you approach them you need the wisdom of the Holy Spirit operating in you and your intention needs to be for loving correction, not punishment. The goal is to help them be restored, not destroyed. It cannot be done in your own strength because you are not battling flesh and blood. This is a spiritual force of darkness and it needs to be addressed in the Spirit and in love. It is important to understand what is taking place with this type of person so you know how to approach them. 2 Timothy 2:23-26 explains it best. It says, “But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.” These people have been taken captive in their thoughts and are doing the will of the enemy by bringing division in the body of Christ with their tongue. Let’s look at the Scriptures that give reference to the tongue of such a person.
“These six things the LORD hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren. Proverbs 6:16-19 NKJ
“He who is devoid of wisdom despises his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his peace. A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter. Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Proverbs 11:12-14 NKJ
“A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. A man shall eat well by the fruit of his mouth, but the soul of the unfaithful feeds on violence. He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction.” Proverbs 13:1-3 NKJ
”An ungodly man digs up evil, and it is on his lips like a burning fire. A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates the best of friends.” Proverbs 16:27-28 NKJ
“He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips.” Proverbs 20:19 NKJ
The brother or sister in Christ who has a tongue of discord and dissension is not only hurting fellow believers they are hurting themselves. If you saw a fellow believer standing on a cliff getting ready to jump, would you stand there and watch them destroy their life and the lives of those around them? Would you say they should have known better and ignore their imminent destruction? No you would do everything possible to help them! This is the same compassion we need to have with fellow believers who cause strife with their tongue. I understand that approaching such a person is difficult, but the Spirit of God will direct you if you find yourself having to do it. If you are the person who has a tongue of discord seek wisdom from the Lord and seek help from fellow believers before you destroy yourself and others. If you know a person like this, pray for them and ask God to reveal how and when you are to approach them. God is faithful and He will answer your prayers.
Prayer: May the words of my mouth always bring peace. Help me to guard my tongue from speaking words of discord and dissension. Help me to seek wisdom before I speak so I do not divide the body of Christ with my tongue. I believe by faith that as I walk in Your counsel I will have a mouth full of truth and peace. Then I will be able to aid my brother or sister who is walking in these same transgressions. I praise you for being faithful and I worship you in Spirit and in Truth. Amen
Other passages for you to look up on your own are Proverbs 26:20-28, 1 Peter 3:10, Ephesians 4:29-32, James 3:10-12, and 2 Timothy2. There are many more passages that speak about the tongue and I want to encourage you to do study on your own so the Holy Spirit can teach you personally.
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