Being On The Receiving End Of Unforgiveness

“Now whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.” 2 Corinthians 2:10-11 NKJ

There is nothing like the overwhelming feelings that bombard the mind and heart of a person who is on the receiving end of unforgiveness. As we know unforgiveness causes mental, emotional, and physical sickness to the person who is unwilling to forgive; but did you know that those same problems can affect the person who is on the receiving end of unforgiveness? If they dwell on it and accept the weight of the burden of the unforgiveness they can suffer the same sicknesses that the unforgiving person suffers from.

This is not a subject that is often discussed but one that deserves more attention because many people bear the effects of unforgiveness. I have experienced this myself and it is the reason I am passionate about helping people overcome the temptation to receive the unforgiveness that is placed on them by a person with a hardened heart. And the only way to do it is to forgive that person so the enemy doesn’t take advantage of us and so we can destroy his plan to steal, kill, and destroy our faith, hope, and well being.

What I have found to be the most effective way to do this is to renew my mind to what God calls me to do for the person who holds unforgiveness against me. I keep my mind focused on loving them with a Christ centered love. I pray for them, claim God’s Word over them, and keep my heart open to the possibility of restoration and reconciliation. I also ask the Holy Spirit to keep me from falling into the temptation to judge them because I know that my judgment can cause me to do the very same thing to them or others.

If I feel the temptation to judge I claim Scriptures like 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 where Paul says, “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” I then pray for God to give me the strength to stand up under the temptation until it passes.

I have come to understand that I am only one decision away from walking in the same mindset of unforgiveness. I pray continually that I will stay in a mindset of humility, instead of a haughty spirit of pride. When I do these things the burden is lifted and my well-being is intact. Another thing I do is pray for the Lord to give me eyes to see the person the way He sees them because if I don’t, it is easy to become embittered towards them for the offense they hold against me.

When I do this I renew my mind to Scriptures like Hebrews 12:14-15 that says, “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;” Bitterness cannot take root in a heart whose soil is made up of love and peace! Therefore the troubles that come from bitterness cannot grow and the soil of the heart cannot be defiled. Defiled means polluted or contaminated. So a defiled heart is one that becomes contaminated with unforgiveness! So choosing to walk in a mindset of love and peace is the only way to keep the soil of the heart pure and uncontaminated.

Paul confirms this in Colossians 3:15-17 when he says, “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” The peace and love of Christ is the richest soil and it produces the fruit of the Spirit in our lives which enables us to respond to the injustice of unforgiveness with the mindset of Christ operating in us.

This is the only way to overcome the devastating effects of unforgiveness and it is what empowers us to walk in love and peace with all men and women who have wounded us with the weapon of unforgiveness. It is also the very thing that keeps the enemy from using his weaponry device of unforgiveness to kill our faith and hope! He is a defeated enemy but it is our responsibility to remind him of his defeat by using our weapon of warfare, which is the Word of God, to battle the temptation to hold onto the unforgiveness that has been assailed against us.

Prayer: Spend time with the Lord and ask him to reveal if you have held onto wounds from the weapon of unforgiveness that has been assailed against you. Begin to pray for those who have held unforgiveness against you and spend time renewing your mind to the Word. If you need to enlist a trusted friend to pray with you and to support you as you walk this out. I promise it will be beneficial to your well-being if you do this.