IN Christ I Can Wait For And Choose A Healthy Mate! (Part 3 of 3)

“And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Genesis 2:18 NKJ “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,” Ephesians 5:25 “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

Have you ever fantasized about what your future marriage will look like when you marry the person of your dreams? Have you ever looked expectantly forward to the day where you will exchange wedding vows and envisioned a beautiful ceremony surrounded by friends and family who are there to witness your marriage union? Now for a couple of questions you may have never thought about. Have you fantasized about divorcing the person of your dreams? Have you ever looked forward to the day the divorce papers are signed where no friends or family are with you on the courthouse steps? These last two questions may seem morbid but unfortunately this is exactly what happens to more than 50% of all marriages in the United States that began with the beautiful wedding ceremony.

This is why it is my hearts desires as a fellow believer to encourage you to be prepared before you ever enter the marriage union. The greatest wedding gift you can give your future spouse is being a mature person of character and integrity, rooted and grounded in love; who knows your value and worth and who has a solid foundation of the knowledge of who you are IN Christ. This gift is priceless and your future mate will be eternally grateful for it. The greatest wedding gift you can give yourself is to find a mate who has the same desire to give this gift to you.

Being single is the only opportunity you have to do the preparation work for marriage without the distractions of another person who is vying for your time and attention. A dear friend of mine is in this process right now. She has even gone as far as purchasing marriage books that speak to creating a healthy marriage, even though she is single and has no prospects on the horizon for a future mate. She has been through a divorce and never wants to experience that again so she knows the importance of being prepared and finding a mate who is also prepared. This has been the key that has unlocked the door to patiently waiting for her future mate.

During her preparation time she has discovered areas in her heart that are wounded and she is working through them and allowing God to heal her in those areas. She has learned what the root causes to some of her past poor relational behaviors are and she is addressing those issues in a healthy way. She is also discovering her God given purpose and pursuing it on a daily basis, even though it has not yet been completely defined. There was a time when she argued with me when I told her the importance of the preparation time before choosing a mate, but she no longer does that because she sees the benefits that have come from doing it. She also used to think it would take too much time to do it, but she has learned that right now she has no time constraints because she is singularly focused; so she no longer sees time as an issue. Where she one felt rushed to find her mate, she now has a complete sense of peace and knows that God is at work, preparing the man who is suitable for her and she is willing to wait for him to come into her life.

I have watched her grow and mature into a woman of character who is learning how to be rooted and grounded in love. She is beginning to know her worth and value and she is discovering her identity in Christ. I can guarantee that the man who is granted the privilege of making her his bride will be one of the happiest men on earth because the woman he gets will be full of integrity and character, strong in the Lord and in the power of His might! This is my desire for all single people because these are the people who have an opportunity to create a successful marriage that has an inheritance of love and commitment that can be passed down from generation to generation.

I want to reflect on yesterday’s devotion for a moment when I spoke of the CEO of a major corporation. I want you to think about something that will help you know what my friend will experience when she completes her own preparation work. When a CEO is looking to hire an executive for his corporation, he spends a lot of time and energy pouring over resumes. When he narrows it down he has an interview process that includes a personality profile and problem solving exercises. His desire is to find a person who matches the core values of his company. This is an acceptable practice in the marketplace and yet if you talk about dating in the same way people view it as a cold and heartless process. Do you realize that we place more value on a person seeking employment than we do on the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. The CEO is not cold and calculated in what he is doing. He knows that the person who takes the position as an executive in his company influences everyone in the company so it is important to make sure they are a person of integrity and character.

When you have done the preparation in your own life like my friend is doing you will be able to quickly move through the life resumes of prospective mates and be able to narrow it down to the one who is the most compatible with your core values. Then as you grow closer in your relationship you will move through problem solving exercises and see an even greater view of the person’s character. This is why it is so important to place a high value on your position as a future husband or wife. It is important to understand that your decision for a life partner will not only affect you but it will affect everyone in your life; including your children, future children, and your children’s children.

God has a help meet suitable for you and if you are willing to wait for and choose a healthy mate, you will find your suitable match. This may take months or it may take years, but the months and years spent during this process is worth it if you consider the years of pain you will experience if you rush into a relationship with the wrong mate. There is nothing like the pain that comes in the tearing away of the heart when the one flesh becomes two through divorce. I don’t ever want anyone to have to experience that pain and this is why I am passionate about helping people be prepared for marriage. May you grow in wisdom and understanding as the Holy Spirit continues to reveal the importance of being prepared for marriage as you seek Him daily and discover His desire for your life.