One of the hardest things to do in life is to establish and maintain healthy boundaries. Since our boundaries are threatened and crossed on many occasions throughout our lives; most people find themselves not knowing how to establish or maintain healthy boundaries as adults. They end up confused or conflicted in knowing what healthy boundaries are and they struggle to stay within the boundaries they do set for themselves. This happens because once again people are working in their own strength to do something that can only be done IN Christ! Remember that everything temporal will eventually crumble, including setting boundaries in our own strength.
In God’s incredible love for us He knows this and this is why on several occasions during Jesus’ life, God had Him establish and maintain healthy boundaries. We have to constantly remind ourselves that EVERYTHING we experience in life Jesus was required to experience so we would have an example to follow that leads us to victory while we are still on this earth; in EVERY area of life. He was tempted as we are tempted, wounded as we are wounded, betrayed as we are betrayed, and so on. God does not require of us what He did not require of Himself; in order for us to understand that He knows our every need and He will meet them as we submit ourselves to Him!
During Jesus’ life He established boundaries on several occasions. I want to encourage you to read the Gospels specifically looking for every time Jesus established and maintained healthy boundaries. When I did this my eyes were opened to an understanding that helped me learn how to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in my own life. The Spirit of God will do the same for you if you seek Him for wisdom and understanding in this area. We are only going to look at a two examples from Jesus’ life where He established and maintained healthy boundaries today so you gain an understanding that will empower you as you do your own study on the subject.
The first one we are going to look at is when Jesus established a boundary to take time to be alone with His Father and pray. This is an area we all struggle with because life’s demands are so great that we sometimes forget the importance of setting aside quiet time to be alone with God. But if Jesus needed to do this and He was the Son of God; we need to do it even more because though we are the children of God; we are not the Son of God! Luke 5:16 says, “So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed.” Mark 1:35 says, “Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.” Other passages where Jesus set this example for us are found in Mark 6:45-46, Luke 6:12, Luke 4:42, Mark 14:32-34, and Matthew 14:13.
We have to understand that spending time with God is the foundational step in learning how to establish and maintain healthy boundaries. It is when we are alone with God where the Spirit of God speaks to us and only the Spirit of God knows what our needs and desires are. This is where we become empowered to experience healing from past wounds where our boundaries have been crossed, where we get a vision of what healthy boundaries look like, and where we learn how to walk IN Christ’s strength to establish and maintain healthy boundaries! Apart from Him we can do nothing!
The second boundary we are going to look at is found in Matthew 16:23. Speaking of Jesus it says, “But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.” How many times has someone said something to you or done something to you that you knew was contrary to what God’s Word said about you? This happens all the time but most people either ignore it or accept it as a truth; even though it is a lie. Jesus gave us the second foundational step to follow in establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries in His encounter with Peter.
He showed us the importance of knowing whose voice is speaking through a person and how we are to respond if it is a voice that is contrary to the voice of God. Though we won’t speak those words to the person because we do not wrestle with flesh and blood; we do speak those words to the devil when he tries to lie to us through a person’s words or actions. We have to take our rightful authority over him and tell him to leave us alone! James 4:7 says, ‘Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” Notice that we are first called to submit to God which goes back to the first foundational step of establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries; which is spending time with God so we know the voice of God.
When we know the voice of God we can discern when a contrary voice is speaking. When we know it is a contrary voice speaking, then we know what our responsibility is in resisting it. And when we resist it; it has to flee! It is only IN Christ where this can happen! It cannot be done in our own strength! Are you beginning to see why it is so important to be IN Christ when establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries? IN Christ is where all power to overcome the works of the devil is found! I want to encourage you to spend time meditating in the Word so the Spirit can continue to teach you how to establish and maintain healthy boundaries IN Christ by studying the boundaries Jesus had in His own life.
Prayer: I desire to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in my life and I have come to understand that once again this is directly tied to me knowing who I am IN You! Help me to resist the temptation to operate in my own strength in this area and I believe by faith that as I submit myself to You; You will teach me ALL things that pertain to life in regards to boundaries! Amen
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