Who Will Love Me For Me, Not For What I Have Done Or What I Will Become?

Years ago I worked with abused children at a residential treatment center. When a new child came into the home the pain of their trauma showed on their faces, in their words, and through their actions. They didn’t trust anyone and they were constantly on guard. All they had ever known was pain, torture, and everything that goes with the life of an abused and neglected child. They had no idea what love was. They didn’t know how to receive it or how to give it but it was evident that they craved both very much!

I was employed to teach these children life skills and classroom etiquette but within a few days of working with them I realized there was something greater I was called to teach them and that was how to receive and how to give love. As you can imagine this was a huge calling because these children had it engrained in their brains that they didn’t deserve love and that they would never be loved by anyone! But each morning as I got ready for work I asked God to teach me how to show them His love and to teach me how to unconditionally love them for who He had created them to be and not to react to the people they had become due to their abuse and neglect.

It began with completely accepting them for who they were with their pain and trauma and not expecting them to be anything different. Then I spoke to them in a loving tone and when they reacted with anger, fear, or anxiousness, I didn’t change the way I spoke to them. I treated them the way I would treat my very own children. I did not accentuate the negative words or actions they displayed, but instead I downplayed them as if they didn’t really matter. These actions caught each child off guard. They were used to being yelled at and shamed. They expected to be punished severely and beat for their actions. What is interesting is that at first the more I treated them with Christ’s love and acceptance, the harder they fought it off: even though it was what they needed and wanted more than anything.

But within a short amount of time as I displayed Christ’s love and acceptance day after day they began to soften and they began to accept it as authentic and real as they discovered it was okay to trust me. Pretty soon their eyes lit up each morning when I came on shift! All six of them raced to greet me at the door and they hugged me tightly and they didn’t want to let go. They would talk over one another trying to get me to pay attention to them first! Over time these children not only learned how to accept love but they began to display it to others in their words and actions. They even began to display it in their artwork at school. They began to believe they were worthy to be loved and they learned it was safe to be loved and to show love.

That year for Christmas I brought them to my parent’s house and watched them enjoy Christmas for the first time in their lives. It wasn’t the presents that made the day great for them though. It was experiencing Christ’s authentic love for the first time and being able to receive it and express it. I sat on the couch with tears in my eyes because it was in that moment I realized just how many other people have been robbed of knowing and experiencing the true love and acceptance of Jesus Christ. I really think that it was during that time in my life where I became passionate about reaching people with the message of Christ’s love and acceptance.

So many people long to be loved for who they are and not for what they have done or for what they will become in life. Whether it is an abused child, an abandoned spouse, a hardened criminal, or anyone else for that matter, people want to know they are loved and able to love! They want to know what love really means! They crave it more than anything in life but they don’t know how or where to find it. They try all kinds of things to try and fill the void only to be left feeling empty and insecure.

But it is only God who knows what love is for the Bible says that God is love! Love is not an emotion! It is the personification of Jesus Christ Himself and He is the only One who knows how to love us and only He can teach us how to accept His love and how to give it to others! 1 John 4:9 says, “We love because he first loved us.” As believers we are called to receive Christ’s love and acceptance for ourselves and then to love others as He has loved us.

If we will do this then we will begin to experience what I was privileged to experience when I worked with those beautiful children! We will see the people around us begin to soften as we consistently display Christ’s love and acceptance and before long we will begin to see them running, not into our arms, but into the arms of Jesus and asking Him to be the Lord of their lives! We will see them craving time in His presence as those children craved time in mine. We will see them become like those little children on that Christmas morning, filled with joy and laughter too great to measure! And we will begin to see less and less people searching for alternatives of counterfeit love and acceptance.

Please join me in praying for the body of Christ to begin to accept Christ’s love for themselves so they will be able to reach a hurting and dying world with the message of hope that is only found in Jesus Christ! Too many people have suffered! It is time to rise up church and become real examples of Christ’s love! I will leave you with this verse from Mark 12:30-31. “And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”